I think about it. I do. I try hard not to, but I do.
I can't help but wonder, what if she does... what if I turn to gray.
Not like it's never happened before... I have always really been that blur in the background, not matter who was around.
It's been part of my acceptance, because without that acceptance, I would have for sure driven myself damn crazy.
So I keep telling myself- "Doesn't matter. You are who you are, and she can be happy or disapproving... it won't matter to you." Do I need to be sterner, louder... more confident?
I took the path less traveled in her very vocal opinion, but I have certainly learned along the way. Not only have I learned, but man, have I gained. Gained my soul mate, the love of my very being. Have been very blessed with these two innocent and beautiful little souls. With their wrinkly little noses, and those "Puss and Boots" eyes that get me E V E R Y T I M E (but I wouldn't trade it for the world).
So why do I let it get to me so much... I have acceptance elsewhere. Why do I need this specific acceptance? Maybe because it's not acceptance that I should have to fight for. Maybe because it's something that is just supposed to be there.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Jello
So I did it.
Worse than burning water- I wrecked probably the easiest thing ever.
Yup- Jello.
Don't ask me how I did it (but I wouldn't recommend using the quick-prep instructions on the box), just know, there was a whole lotta water, and a whole lotta leather like substance- but not a whole lotta anything that met in the middle.
Where is the middle really? Where is the middle that's perfection? Where is the balance... not too soupy, not too hard? And how does it get that way? Clearly, if it's too hard, things will bounce off, deflected. If it's too soupy, things sink right in. And then it's never the same.
So whats better? Keeping things out. Protecting the inside? Or is it better to let things in- making little holes as those things go right through?
Just "food" for thought I guess. Where's the middle? Where is perfection? Is perfection just simple satisfaction?
Worse than burning water- I wrecked probably the easiest thing ever.
Yup- Jello.
Don't ask me how I did it (but I wouldn't recommend using the quick-prep instructions on the box), just know, there was a whole lotta water, and a whole lotta leather like substance- but not a whole lotta anything that met in the middle.
Where is the middle really? Where is the middle that's perfection? Where is the balance... not too soupy, not too hard? And how does it get that way? Clearly, if it's too hard, things will bounce off, deflected. If it's too soupy, things sink right in. And then it's never the same.
So whats better? Keeping things out. Protecting the inside? Or is it better to let things in- making little holes as those things go right through?
Just "food" for thought I guess. Where's the middle? Where is perfection? Is perfection just simple satisfaction?
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